Celebrity Laundry

Starring: Angelina Jolie as the homewrecker, Brad Pitt sunbathing nude, Jennifer Aniston as America's sweetheart, Britney Spears as fashionably challenged, Kevin Federline as the moocher, Jessica Simpson as the ditzy blond, Nick Lachey as the transvestite, Tom Cruise as the crack head Scientologist and Katie Holmes as his fake pregnant fiance.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Brad & Angelina...once a whore, always a whore

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Golden Globes Fashion Reviews

Monday, January 16, 2006

Brad & Angelina in Haiti

Katie Holmes getting some coffee

Looks like she forgot to inflate the fake belly again

Britney Spears

Britney Spears shows up again without her wedding ring to have her baby Preston blessed at a Hindu temple.

Cameron Diaz engaged and pregnant

Rumor has it that Cameron Diaz is the newest celebrity to get knocked up. It's about time, I guess Justin Timberlake has been shooting duds for a while! She's not too shy about hiding the bling on her wedding finger but she seems to be going to great lengths to cover her tummy from the papparazzi

Jessica Simpson makes an appearance as Casper

Jessica Simpson is back in the recording studio, the actress was so concerned about seeing more pictures of that black eye from the botox show up in the tabloids that she ordered her makeup artist to paint her up like Casper the friendly ghost!

Seriously though, she looks awfully pale, wouldn't it be wild if we found out that she was pregnant with Nick's baby?

Katie Holmes Amazing Shrinking Belly!

Tom already acts like he should be in the circus but I think Katie would fit right in too! They could make a booth and have a guy stand outside yelling "Come on over folks! This is the weirdest thing you will ever see! The first pregnant woman in the world that has a belly that can go from big to small to big again! You won't see it anywhere else folks, Tom Cruise's alien sperm has impregnated Katie Holmes and there's no telling what this belly will do next, it might completely dissapear one day!"

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes try to squash rumors that there is trouble in make believe paradise by going out to dinner recently. They reportedly showed up on Tom's motorcycle! Can you believe that? An allegedly 6 month pregnant woman riding a motorcycle? Well if you do I've got a bridge to sell you!

Britney goes shopping, without her wedding ring!

Poor, poor Britney, her husband Kevin Federjerk has been spending so much money, apparently she can't afford a stylist or makeup artist anymore. Let's hope she sends back that Ferarri for good, sends Kevin packing, and at least attempts to look halfway decent before stepping out of the house from now on. Come on Britney! Put yourself together, you look like shit.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Tom Cruise gave Katie Holmes herpes!

Lisa Loeb glasses -$99
cell phone- $74.99
Pretending to be a gay man's girlfriend and knawing on his face in public after he went down on a guy and consequently getting cold sores all over your face- PRICELESS!

Friday, January 13, 2006

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie let Maddox pick babies name

I've heard from a reliable source that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will let Maddox pick their unborn babies name. The kid sports a mohawk and space boots but they're going to trust his taste in names. Well at least they'll have a good excuse when he picks something weird like Apple (Gwyneth Paltrow's baby's name).

Jennifer Aniston hides the joint

Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn scramble to hide their joint in the cars ashtray before papparazzi gets a picture of it. Or maybe they're looking for the Visine? Ah! Pothead love, aren't they sweet? No seriously, I don't get the big deal. So that guy who took a picture of Jennifer sunbathing nude also got a picture of her smoking a little pot. Brad Pitt smoked pot too, in fact I read once that he didn't want to quit to have children.

Courtney Cox & Baby Coco

It's a day for celebrity baby sightings! Here's Courtney Cox with her long awaited baby girl Coco, isn't her outfit too cute?

Britney & Preston hit the town

Finally Britney got herself some half decent threads and covers up the nasty hairdo she's been sporting lately. Baby Preston is adorable (they call him preston, not sean she says) and at least she's stopped keeping him cooped up in the house all day with nannies!

Jessica Simpson goes grocery shopping

Jessica shows us how normal she is by stocking up on junk food. Good for her! I'm glad to see that someone in Hollywood eats like a normal American!

Angelina Jolie without all the goop

Tell me again why everyone thinks Angelina is such a hottie. She looks like crap in this photo. Brad Pitt isn't looking too hot either. I'm sure taking care of two kids and morning sickness for the one on the way is taking it's toll. It won't be long now before someone finds out they secretly got married and they divorce for irreconcilable differences. Never fear though! Angelina has covered her bases and made sure that Brad will always be at her beck and call for the kids

Monday, January 09, 2006

The Katie & Tom Show

Look at this! Finally we have proof that Tom is just the ventriloquist and Katie Holmes is his puppet. I bet he uses the trick they used on Mr. Ed, the talking horse from the old tv series. They used to stick a carrot up his ass to make his lips move and then they would put words in his mouth.

This explains it! Katie hasn't gone crazy, it's certainly not pregnancy hormones since we all know the pregnancy is a sham. Tom has used some kind of power he picked up from an L Ron Hubbard book to make her say whatever he wants!

Brad Pitt and adopted daughter Zahara

Brad looks like a freak in this picture with those sunglasses and oversized hat, reminds me of one of the Olson twins. That said, his adopted daughter Zahara is ADORABLE! Let's just hope they don't totally screw her up. Poor thing, adopted by a couple attention whores with no morals.

The supermarket tabloids and gossip blogs are ablaze with rumors that Angelina and Brad are getting married any minute now. Angelina was supposedly seen shopping for jewerly before Christmas, and their point is? Celebs are seen shopping for bling all the time, that doesn't mean they're getting hitched people.

I think that getting married is just too big of a step right now. I mean they have barely admitted to being a couple in public! By the way I think that speaks volumes for their relationship. They should be ashamed of themselves but I'm surprised that even though the cat is out of the bag the most they do in public is hold hands and go shopping. Passionate relationship? Doesn't look like it. No, I don't think they're secure enough to make a huge commitment. I wouldn't be if I were Angelina, I mean Brad did cheat on his last wife, once a cheater always a cheater.Finally, Brad has vowed to be there for the children even if they break up. They're not even confident that they will be able to stay together long enough to raise these children to adulthood! Poor Maddox and Zahara. Oh well, all that moolah will pay for years of retail therapy alah Paris Hilton.

Ellen, Tom & Katie

Britney Spears shopping in Vegas.

Jennifer Aniston, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson, Nick Lachey, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Madonna, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Julia Roberts, Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Mel Gibson, Eva Longoria, Jennifer Lopez, Christina Aguilera, Mariah Carey, Pamela Anderson, Nicole Kidman, Courtney Cox, Reese Witherspoon, Tara Reid, Matthew Perry, Bruce Willis, Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, Ellen Degeneres, Brooke Shields, Julia Stiles, Sandra Bullock, Catherine Zeta Jones, Michael Douglas, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jessica Alba, Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, Johnny Depp, Oprah Winfrey, Beyonce Knowles, Anna Nicole Smith, Charlize Theron, Elizabeth Hurley, Jennifer Connelly, Kirstie Alley, Ashlee Simpson, Gwen Stefani, Courtney Love, Kelly Ripa, Drew Barrymore and Alicia Silverstone